Friday, July 26, 2013

Weight Loss Surgeon #2

After getting amazing news that my insurance company would cover weight loss surgery, I didn't waste any time. There was a weight loss surgeon right in Marquette and so I called and made an appointment right away.

I attended the group meeting and an informational seminar. This is when they really make you think about whether or not this was the right decision for you. I had NO doubts. This was going to turn my life around in so many positive ways. I just knew it.

I had private appointment with the surgeon. We went over my health issues, what I wanted out of this surgery, and he answered any questions I had. I told him I was beyond sure that this is what I needed. I was then scheduled to meet with a nutritionist, a psychologist, a cardiologist, and my general practitioner. 

The nutritionist and I went over what kind of diet I was currently on. All carbs! HaHa! With PCOS and insulin resistance, you crave carbs because your body is not processing them properly. We then went over what kind of diet I needed to be on before surgery. Low carb! :-( I needed to focus on watching how much fat I was eating, how many carbs I was eating, and limiting my portions. No big deal. Then came the diet restriction for after surgery. 2 ounces! OY VEY! First of all, even with a smaller stomach, how can 2 ounces sustain anyone? Well, she explained it in great detail. She then explained that I would only be on a 2 ounce diet for a short time, thank God. It was just a small reality check that I needed to make sure I was still game for this great change that was going to take place.

The psychologist was basically to make sure that I wasn't crazy. Well, I was kind of worried that I wasn't going to pass that one :-p Really, they needed to make sure that I was going to be able to handle the changes emotionally (and now looking back, boy is this a very necessary step in the process). I had to answer questions about my past that I had never really thought about anymore. I had to be aware that this had to be about more than just my fertility. Surgery may not fix my fertility and I needed to be ok with that. I wasn't, but I had to suck it up.

The cardiologist had to run a stress test and echo on my heart to make sure that I could withstand going through surgery. Let me tell you, that stress test made me so very glad I was pursuing wight loss surgery. Walking on a very high incline treadmill with wires strapped to me was not my idea of fun! Despite a heart murmur and a bicuspid narrow aortic valve I passed and was given clearance. 

My last and final appointment was to see my general practitioner to have some blood work done. No surprise there that they found elevated hormones, elevated liver enzymes, high blood sugar, and so on... but this was why I was pushing forward with the weight loss surgery, right? To change all these things. He thought I was a good candidate and gave his approval. 

All was done and I was ready to schedule my surgery. My emotions were all over the place. I had never had surgery before, this was a big deal. This was also something I had been working toward for so long. I NEEDED this. I called the surgeons office to schedule the BIG DAY and that was when I was told that insurance declined my request. They were not going to cover it. 

What? I didn't even know that could happen. Why did I go through all this just to be told no, again? Once again I was hurt and confused. I was told that I could appeal it. I had to write a letter to the insurance company explaining why I should be approved. So I did. When I got my response, I was told that I needed to undergo more testing to prove that this was medically necessary. At this point, I dropped it. I was overwhelmed and figured God was saying no.

What now? I felt like every corner I turned I was always asking God "What do you want for me? What do you want from me?"

I wanted to know what God was trying to teach me and I wanted to know it right then!

Open doors...

You can't be locked in a closet forever. I believe that when God closes a door in your life, he will open another. 

I spent a year living in confusion. Not knowing what I was supposed to be doing. Praying daily that some prayers would be answered and that I would have some kind of direction in my life. I know that God doesn't always answer your prayers the way you want Him to. He may not be saying "no", he may just be say "not right now.

It was around the year anniversary of us moving to the U.P. when I started feeling like weight loss surgery was still what I needed. I was willing to save up and pay for it out of pocket. It was something that I felt that strongly about. I knew it was something that would be good for ME. I called the surgeons office to set up an appointment and when I was asked about insurance, I told them that my insurance didn't cover the surgery. The sweet lady on the other end of the phone simply said:

"Why don't you call them again and see if they still don't cover it, things change all the time"

That was something that I didn't even consider. I just figured that that was that. Insurance doesn't cover it and that won't change. My next phone call was to my insurance company. I talked for a while with a lady about what exactly I was looking to have done. She said that the way it was stated in the policy was confusing and that she needed to look into it further and she would get back to me. I hung up and just prayed, I prayed that this was what God had for me and that my insurance company would cover it. When the lady called back, I didn't want to answer. I was so nervous that she would just tell me no. I answered the phone and what I heard on the other line was music to my ears.

"Hi Amanda, I talked with a few of my superiors and from our understanding weight loss surgery is a covered benefit."

Praise God! I was so beyond happy! This gave me renewed hope. It gave me faith that God knew the plans he had for me. 

When one door closes, another opens!

Reproductive Specialist, Round 2!

It wasn't long after Chad started his new job that I wanted to get back on track with a weight loss surgeon. I called the insurance company to find out if our insurance covered the surgery... after a few calls, the answer was no. No? What do you mean, no?  For whatever reason, I was under the impression that it was pretty standard for insurance companies to cover weight loss surgery. Apparently not.

I was devastated. It didn't even feel like I was back at square one, I felt like the door was slammed in my face and that was that. What was I supposed to do? What did this mean about our fertility? Where did I even start?

I decided to start with seeing an OB/GYN again and seeing what she had to say about my non-existent periods. When I went in to talk with her, she didn't seem worried about my periods, and after voicing my concern about my fertility she suggested Clomid and Provera again. I didn't want to. I wanted to tell her that I had already been there and done that, but I wanted to hold onto some kind of hope and if that meant Clomid and Provera, then I guess that was what I was going to do.

Chad and I tried another 3 unsuccessful rounds of Clomid and Provera. Very disappointing, but I wasn't surprised. At that point the OB/GYN suggested I see one of the fertility specialists that visited the area from time to time. I made an appointment and just prayed that we would find some answers. I prayed that some weight would be lifted off our shoulders. At this point, two years into our marriage and two years of "trying", I was starting to let it bother me more than before. 

Chad and I met with the fertility specialist... I didn't like him. He was quick, short answered, and just demanded that the tests we had done the year prior be done again. He also told me that as long as I was fat, that I wouldn't get pregnant. Thanks! Just what someone who has been dealing with weight issues for years wants to hear and definitely what someone who has been dealing with infertility wants to hear. It's your fault that you can't get pregnant, so drop the fork! Ok, so those weren't his exact words, but it might as well have been.

Back at square one, again! I was feeling all sorts of hurt and confusion. I thought our move was what God wanted for us, so what did God want for us in our marriage and personal lives? I was so very confused. My heart broke just thinking that this might be the end of the road, that this was a door closed and locked. My heart ached and yearned to know what God had planned for our lives.

Two weeks later...

It didn't take long to get our rinky dink  house packed up and ready to move... One of the hardest things I have ever had to do, is say goodbye to the only place I have ever lived. My family, my friends, my home. We were off.

Considering how small our house was, we had a caravan of vehicles on our drive up. I attribute this to Chad's love of cars. While Chad was driving our Cherokee pulling a car dolly with his VW Rabbit pick-up, I was driving his grandparents 4-door dually diesel pick-up pulling a large enclosed trailer. Not only was this the first time I had driven this truck, but it was the first time I had pulled a trailer as well. I had 8 hours of drive time ahead of me, along with a 7 mile suspension bridge. Oy! Our friend Chad helped us in the move and he was riding with Chad and I was accompanied by Chad's sister Amanda. It always helps to have some distraction on such a long drive.

I couldn't have been happier with the trip up. No break downs, no flat tires, no accidents, and no car sickness. Woo hoo! It didn't feel like long before we were pulling up to our new "home". It was hard for me to consider this home when I had only been to the area one time before moving in. It was a nice little duplex in what (at the time) seemed like a quiet area. 

We unpacked the vehicles so that we could turn around and make the trip back downstate, because Chad was leaving for Costa Rica for two weeks. Who leaves for Costa Rica the same week you move 8 hours away from home and RIGHT before you start a brand new job after being laid off for 6 months? My husband. It was a crazy hectic few days. I stayed with my in-laws while he was gone so that we could make the trip back to the U.P. when he returned.

After returning from Costa Rica and back to the U.P. we worked on getting settled in. At Chad's new job he was the only one in his company that worked in the state of Michigan. That meant long hours and lots of middle of the night call ins. It was hard to get used to a schedule like that, but we were grateful that God had given us a job that was stable. I decided to stay home so that when he was home, we could spend time together. In our first two years of marriage, we both worked and we didn't get much quality time together. I didn't want the stress of being in a new and unknown area get the best of us if we were only seeing each other here and there.

It didn't take long for us to start looking for a church. After spending a few weeks driving around the area, we knew of a handful of churches in the area. Our first Sunday trying out a new church we went to Lake Superior Christian Church and from that Sunday on we knew that God wanted us there. It was our first Sunday that we were asked to go on a camping trip with the young adult group. We are either very brave or crazy. We were going to spend the night in an unknown area with people we just met. To our (not so much) surprise, we had a blast. We met some awesome people and got to enjoy some relaxing time on Lake Michigamme. 

There is nothing better than a great church family when making a transition into an area where you know NO ONE. 


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

What shall we do now, sir?

After the disappointing, yet not that surprising, news that Chad was being laid off from his job, we had to ask ourselves; what's next? There wasn't much hope that he would get a call to come back to work. (We would later find out that his whole company was closing) Unemployment benefits only cover so much and our health insurance was terminated the day that he was laid off.

Unfortunately in the area that we were living, the unemployment rate was very high. The job market showed very little hope. Chad was applying to job after job and sending out resume after resume. He had one interview out of at least a hundred or more jobs he applied to.It was daunting to say the least.

That is when I looked at him and asked; what shall we do now, sir? Neither of us had a good answer. He considered going back to school to get into a different line of work. He considered becoming an over the road truck driver and hitting the road. Our biggest and most promising consideration was the United States Air Force. It was something that we really thought about and prayed about. Chad visited with a recruiter and we were ready to sign papers when his Grandma Marj called. 

"Chadwick, I was reading the newspaper when I saw a help wanted ad in Marquette for diesel mechanic." 

Was this God calling? This was a dream come true opportunity for Chad. He grew up traveling to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan on family vacations and since I have known him he always talked about moving up there and living in "God's country" or "just south of heaven".  It only took a matter of an hour for him to have the online application done and his resume sent. That was when really hard praying began. 

The next day Chad received a call from Cummins Npower asking him to come in for an interview.  We scraped together what money we could so that we could make the 8 hour trip north. I will admit, I was looking forward to the prospect of living in Marquette, but I had never been more than a half hour from my family. It made me nervous to think of leaving everything I had ever known. Alas, we got in the car and made our way north to see what  God might have in store for us.

The trip itself is kind of a blurry memory. My sister, Holly, and my sister-in-law, Mandy, came with us. We stayed at Chad's family cabin that is about an hour and a half away from Marquette. We made the trek into town on the day of the interview and all I could do was pray that we had clear answers as to what God had planned for us. As my sisters and I sat eating lunch at Hudson's (I love that place) with a clear view of the hotel where Chad's interview was taking place, I remember feeling completely at ease. God was working, I knew that for sure. 

Chad walked out of the interview with a smile on his face. He felt good about how it went and was LOVING being in the Upper Peninsula. We took a trip about 30 minutes from Marquette to check out a rental that we had seen online in the town of Gwinn. When we pulled up, we were not impressed. When we looked at the rental, we were even less impressed. Ok, God, we may be getting ahead of ourselves, but if we get this job, we need a place to live. We drove away feeling slightly beaten down. 

About a half hour later while we were driving around, Chad's phone rings. "Chad, this is Jason from Cummins NPower and I would like to offer you the Field Service Tech job if you are interested." Chad and I had already agreed that if he was offered the job, that we would say yes. The USAF was and still is a great opportunity, but with our new marriage already being put to the test, we both felt that if we could secure a job that didn't require him and I to be separated for months on end, that it would be better. We felt God was telling us that this was what he had for us. 

Now we just needed to find us a place to live. 

We drove around Gwinn for a little bit and found a couple of places with for rent signs. We made a few calls and it wasn't long before we were meeting with a guy about a duplex on an old Air Force base called K.I. Sawyer. The duplex was available immediately and the gentlemen said that if we could put the deposit down, that it was ours. Praise God. Chad and I both felt like God was giving us clear answers.

Not only was he offered a job that was in his field, but was a promotion and a pay raise. We found a house that was available to us immediately and we had the money to secure it. Within a matter of an hour we had a job and a house! Now it was time to tell our family that we would be moving 8 hours north in TWO WEEKS... That's right, they wanted Chad in the Upper Peninsula to start the employment process in two weeks. 

Holy crap! Two weeks.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Weight loss surgeon #1

I am not going to lie... I did get a little excited at the prospect of getting some major help with losing weight. It was something that plagued me for so many years and quite frankly I was tired of it. On the other hand, I was petrified!

I was referred to Dr. G. He is a weight loss surgeon in southeast MI that specializes in the lap band procedure. I am normally a nervous Nellie anyway, but just calling the doctor to schedule a consultation had my stomach in knots. I had never had any sort of surgery before or been put under general anesthesia. I typically need the laughing gas at the dentist just to sit through a teeth cleaning. Oy. 

I went to a general consultation with the doctor. It was a "class" type consultation with other people interested in having the surgery and then a private consultation with Dr G. to go over all your personal medical history and any questions you had. After listening to what Dr. G had to say in the general class, I was definitely interested in having the surgery. After talking with Dr. G personally and going over my medical history, he was very certain that I would greatly benefit from having the surgery. His parting words to me were; I can see you in a size 2 dress with a baby in your arms! 

That was what I wanted to hear! I started working on my pre-op appointments. I needed to have a cardiac clearance, be cleared with a sleep specialist, and be cleared by a psychologist. Due to my heart condition, I was concerned I wouldn't get the cardiac clearance. To my surprise, that wouldn't be the reason why I would have to put weight loss surgery on hold.

March 2009, Chad was laid off from his job. As a part time nanny, my job was clearly not going to pay our bills. It was then that we realized things were going to change in a really big way. 


Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Reproductive Specialists: round two!

Chad and I took a "break" from seeing the specialist for about 6 months, I would say. After multiple failed diet attempts and some "too good to be true" miracle pills, we were getting the urge to see a specialist again. My mother worked with a lady who had seen a reproductive endocrinologist that she highly recommended. For multiple reasons, Chad and I were not 100% thrilled with the specialist we had seen before, so we decided to give this doctor a shot.

Our first appointment with the new specialist was just like the first specialist we saw. They ask you all the typical medical background questions, go over what you've already tried, and what their plan of action is going to be. Since I had already been diagnosed with PCOS, the first thing that was suggested was to lose weight. No surprise there. I had been told by almost every doctor I had seen that I needed to lose weight. When you have PCOS, a lot of the symptoms can be "reversed" by losing weight. On the other hand, when you have PCOS, you struggle with your weight due to hormone imbalances and insulin resistance. The more weight you gain, the worse the PCOS symptoms; the worse the PCOS symptoms, the more weight you gain-- welcome to the vicious cycle that is PCOS.

I met with a nutritionist that had me work on a full plate diet. Which basically looks like this:
Looks simple enough. It wasn't a hard diet to follow. It requires a lot of whole foots, which I am a fan of anyway. With any diet I have tried, I feel with PCOS that your body adjusts. I would hit a point where my body would "get used" to the new routine and would just make up for the difference. I would lose about 25 lbs pretty quickly and then I would stop losing weight and eventually gain back what I just lost. It was the brick wall that I would hit every time I would go on a new type of diet. It was no different with the full plate diet that the nutritionist had me do.

After having more blood work done, it showed that I still had elevated liver enzymes. The doctor suggested that I see a gastroenterologist. After running some tests and having an ultrasound done on my liver, the doctor determined that I have what is called a non-alcoholic fatty liver. It was suggested that I see a weight loss surgeon. He felt that my weight was starting to have more serious negative affects on my body. 

Weight loss surgeon? I'm not saying that it never crossed my mind. I always felt like it would be nice to have surgery to help me finally lose the weight, but I never thought that my health would take such a toll that it would actually be suggested to me by a doctor. Was this really the path that I was to go down? I definitely had a lot of questions to be answered!

Reproductive specialists: Round one!

The first time that I was told I was going to have to see a "specialist" freaked me out! My OB/GYN telling me that she wasn't able to help me kind of gave me low hope right off the bat. It just so happens that a couple we went to church with were going through some fertility issues themselves and had referred us to a doctor. A call was made and an appointment was set. We were officially seeing a specialist.

Our first appointment was the basics... how old are you? How long have you been trying? What kind of "trying" have you done? (How do you answer that one?) What tests have you already had done? (At that point, just my initial PCOS testing when I was 14) What kind of health issues do you have? What kind of health issues run in your family?  We had very basic answers. Outside of my PCOS, neither one of us had any health issues (that we are aware of). The doctor ordered a round of blood work for myself and a semen analysis for Chad. (Sorry babe, I know this can be embarrassing)

My blood work showed what I expected: elevated male hormones, elevated blood sugar, and elevated liver enzymes. Typical blood work results for someone with PCOS. The doctor then ordered a hysterosalpingogram or an HSG to check to make sure my uterus and tubes were in good shape. NOT my favorite test to have done, but the results showed everything to be in working order.

Chad went in for his semen analysis. Due to the location of the doctors office and our home, Chad had to produce a sample in the office rather than bringing in a sample. It was really hard on him and myself. I wasn't able to go with him because I had to go to work, which was an hour in the opposite direction of the doctors office. Neither one of us was comfortable with the idea of being thrown in a room filled with pornography so he could fill a cup, but at this point being as young as we were, we weren't aware that we had any other option (and there are other options!). God knows our hearts and I believe that if we were truly headed in the wrong direction, that the door would be closed. 

It took a week or so to get the results. With one phone call, we were told that his analysis showed low count and low motility. WOW! Really? We knew that I had some issues that were going to make this difficult for us, but neither of us expected that Chad would also contribute to our difficulties. We were both in shock and it definitely was a hard reality for both of us.

It wasn't long before we both were getting overwhelmed and feeling a bit beaten down. We felt God leading us in a different direction. We decided to take a step back from the specialists and try some natural and homeopathic measures. Chad and I prefer to live a more natural lifestyle and I prefer to resort to homeopathic measures when it comes to our health and our ailments. I have seen a lot of good come from this.

 I started on a PCOS diet that helped some. I was able to lose a little weight and feel better. My cycles didn't come back and I was still showing all signs of PCOS. I also started a Fertility Cleanse. With this, I also didn't see any real changes with my PCOS. Disclaimer: just because I didn't see results with the diet or the cleanse, doesn't mean that they don't work or that they won't work for you. 

We weren't sure if there was anything that Chad could do. For the time we were just praying that everything would be fine with him. The doctors had told us that being nervous can affect the sample that you give. I held on to hope that this was the reason.

It's all for a reason and only for a season!

Homemade Orange Clean

Well, it is more like grapefruit clean! I got home from the store and looked at my receipt and was like "They charged me for grapefruit, these are oranges!"


Well, dear readers, clearly these are not oranges! So... we get to see how grapefruit cleaner works! If you know me, then you know there are a few things that I could not live without! Coconut oil, vinegar, and my homemade cleaners. My homemade orange clean is my go to cleaner and I L-O-V-E it! So, even though I am using grapefruit, the process of making the cleaner is the same.

I start out by cutting up my oranges into slices- this way the oranges can be used for eating. Since I don't typically eat a whole bag of oranges in one sitting, I don't want them to go to waste. I then cut the orange off of the orange rind and cut the rind into 1/2 inch to 1 inch pieces. I then place the cut up rind into a quart size mason jar until it reaches to the very top!


Then comes one of my favorite things... VINEGAR! White distilled vinegar is good for so many things. It is typically used in every load of my laundry! I was just telling Chadwick that I need to buy stocks in vinegar. I definitely stock up when there is a sale. 


I fill up the mason jar with vinegar until there is no room left in the jar. Seal with a ring and lid. I re-use old lids since this does not need to be sealed. I pay for those, no use throwing them away if I can use them again ;-)


Let your rind and vinegar mixture sit for two weeks. I hate waiting. I let mine sit on the kitchen counter, so every time I see it I pick it up and shake it. I don't think this actually does anything to it, but it doesn't hurt it either. I often forget to get my new batch going before I run out, so I usually have even less patience. I will tell ya, it is worth waiting the two weeks though. 

After the two weeks are up, strain into an empty spray bottle. Tada! Homemade orange clean! Orange clean that is bought from the store is told to be great for cutting through grease and that it what I used it for when I was buying it. Homemade orange clean is even better. I use it in the kitchen on a daily basis. It cleans my stove like a dream!

Once my grapefruit/vinegar mixture has sat for two weeks, I will update on how well it works. I'm not going to lie, I have doubts. Citrus, do not fail me now! 

This takes about 10 to 15 minutes to complete. It is so easy and very rewarding! I was able to get it done this morning and still enjoy my morning tea from my favorite place: Teavana. This morning I tried my new Strawberry Rose Champagne loose leaf. VERY yummy!


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

PCOS... what?

PCOS? What is PCOS?
PCOS stands for poly cystic ovarian syndrome. PCOS is an imbalance in a woman's hormones that cause symptoms like irregular periods, facial and body hair growth, acne, weight gain specifically in the belly area, insulin and blood sugar problems, and dark patches in the skin.

One hormone change will trigger another hormone change. Typically the ovaries will produce a tiny amount of male sex hormones, in PCOS the ovaries will produce more male sex hormones which will cause you to stop ovulating, get acne, and grow extra facial and body hair. Insulin resistance is a common problem with PCOS, where the body has a problem using insulin. When the body doesn't use insulin well, blood sugar levels go up, and eventually can cause diabetes. 

PCOS is caused by hormone changes that can result from many factors and it tends to run in families, being passed down from the mother or fathers side. Most women grow small cysts on their ovaries, hence the name poly cystic ovaries. The cysts are not harmful, but are the leading cause of hormonal imbalances. 

Key treatments for PCOS are exercise, healthy foods, and weight control. If you have PCOS, then you probably laughed at the previous statement. Most women with PCOS struggle with their weight. Due to insulin resistance, blood sugar problems, and hormone imbalances, losing weight can be extremely difficult. The more weight is gained, the worse PCOS symptoms get. It can be a very vicious cycle. 

A common medical treatment is birth control pills, which help regulate cycles and lower androgens (male sex hormones). Some doctors will prescribe a diabetes medicine called Metformin, which helps keep blood sugar levels regulated, helps with weight loss, and helps regulate cycles. 

Every women's journey with PCOS is different. What I have gone through is not what the next lady has gone through. This is a little insight of what I have been through over the last 12 years:

 At first, I had no idea how it was going to affect me. I truthfully didn't care. At 14, I cared about not having to deal with Aunt Flow every month. My doctor put me on Metformin, but my stomach couldn't handle it. My doctor then suggested starting me on birth control pills, but my strong Christian mother didn't think that was appropriate *EDIT* a little clarification... I have a pre-existing heart condition that I have had since birth.One of this side effects/risks of the birth control pill is blood clots. Out of concern for my heart and running the risk of blood clots, my mom decided that birth control pills were not the right option for me. Thanks, mom, for the heads up ;-) For the next 6 years, my PCOS was just "monitored". I was active in sports, was maintaining a healthy weight, and my cycles were semi regular. 

After high school my life slowed down. I got a desk job and didn't have scheduled sports to attend. I noticed my weight start to go up. I tried joining a gym and watching what I ate, but it didn't seem to help. At this point I was only having a period every couple of months. I still wasn't worried about getting it under control, I just was tired of the pudge that I seemed to be putting on.

Then, I got married at age 20. I saw my gynecologist and explained to her that in the last couple of years, I probably only had 2-3 periods. She didn't seem surprised, but she explained how unhealthy it was and how many problems it could cause in terms of my fertility. I wasn't aware the difficulties it could cause when trying to get pregnant. I wasn't worried about getting pregnant until right when she said I would have problems. Then it became this uphill battle that would consume my life. It's that age old saying- "You don't want something until you are told you can't have it". I'm not saying that I didn't want to have kids before, but I didn't ever question whether we would have kids- until I was told it may not be as easy as blinking your eyes. Oh, what I would give to blink a baby into my arms!

My doctor suggested we try Clomid. Oh boy, clomid! Other than feeling like I was on a personal journey to the center of the sun, I didn't mind clomid. I have heard from other people good things and I had high hopes. Clomid helps induce ovulation. In order to take clomid, you have to have cycles. So, to kick start my cycles I took provera. Provera is a progesterone that helps bring on your period. After three rounds of provera and clomid, we were told it probably wasn't going to work and to start looking into seeing a reproductive specialist!

Then began the process of seeing specialist after specialist!

'bout time...

I have been told by a few people that I should start a blog. Me? Start a blog? Is my life that interesting that I could turn it into a blog that someone besides myself would actually read? Maybe. Maybe not. As of lately, I definitely have a ton on my plate. So, 'bout time I write it all down and possibly help someone along the way.

A little about myself:  
I am first and foremost a wife to a man, Chadwick,  that has been my rock throughout life's roller coaster.  We were married in May of 2007. I could not be anymore blessed than I already am when it comes to my husband. He is just simply the best. 

We have a very fun-loving pup named Contessa, but we call her Tess. She is a 6 year old black lab/dalmatian. She has been our baby for the last 4.5 years. We love her and our life definitely wouldn't be the same without her.

I was born and raised in Michigan. Chadwick and I relocated to Nevada in February 2012 for work. My heart misses Michigan, but it was when we moved out here that our lives really took off. There was a reason why God moved us across the country away from our families and everything we have always known. This is a concept that has been a learning process for sure. Why the heck would I move from the beautiful lands of Michigan to the dry deserts of Nevada? I asked myself that question a lot when we first moved, but it hasn't been that bad. It is views like this that make life more bearable out here.

I am an artistic person. I always have myself wrapped up in some sort of creation. I love sewing, photography, cooking, paper crafts, music, and so on... I make all my household cleaners. Laundry soap, dish soap, all purpose cleaner, and orange clean. Recipes and blog posts are sure to follow. It was one of the reasons I started this blog, right? To make people impressed with how all-natural and green I am, right? ;-) As a stay at home wife, creating a naturally clean home is something that I take joy in. Not only is it better for you and the environment, it is so much cheaper! Let me tell you, I am all about saving money.  Here is my homemade orange clean. It is a very sad day when I run out of this. It is my go to cleaner for so many things. Plus, it is SO easy. 

Now onto the biggest reason why I started this blog: PCOS! Infertility! Surrogacy! Inducing lactation! Gastric bypass! My journey over the years struggling with all of these things starts with this:

When I was 14 I was diagnosed with PCOS. At 14, I had no idea how it was going to affect me over the years, and even at *gasp* 26, I still am shocked at how I am affected. Over these last 12 years, I have had every PCOS sympton known to man. I have had the weight gain, the acne, the facial and body hair, the dark patches on my skin, the ovarian cysts, the practically non-existent cycles, the insulin resistance, the hormone imbalances... need I go on? At first, I wasn't too upset. It meant I didn't have to deal with Aunt Flow like the rest of the girls I knew. Who wouldn't love to not have to worry about if someone can see your pad, if you were going to bleed through, if you had gym class that day, and all those other awkward and embarrassing things that every 14 year old girl dreads? Even in my late teens, I wasn't too concerned about it. I cared about the spare tire I had around my waist more than anything. It wasn't until 2007 and my wedding vows were said that I started to wonder if there were going to be more issues that I originally thought. I mean, babies come when you skip a period right? Well, if you aren't having periods, then how can you skip one? Hmmm. Off the doctor and thus begins the journey that almost 7 years later, we are still blindly making our way through.

It is hard, it sucks, some days I feel I cry the whole day. The hardest part is the unknown and the not understanding! One thing I do know is that I serve an amazing and compassionate God that has far more for me than I could ever fathom, especially in my times of trial. I know there is a rainbow for me at the end of this storm!